
Class ~Jsl1J£__ 

Bonk ^R.1b._ 






V 



POLITICAL OATS. 



A KERNEL OR TWO FOR EVERYBODY. 



P R I ( K TEX C K IV T S. 



WINCHELL, SMALL & CO., 48 ANN STREET, NEW YORK. 







E67f 



according to Aet of Congress, in the jear 1872, by 
WINCHELL, SMALL & CO.. 
Is the office of the .'Librarian of Congress at Washington. 



POLITICAL OATS 

THRESHED FROM ALL PARTIES. 




THE GREAT ULYSSES, AS HE APPEARS UNIFORMED AND ACCOUTRED FOR HIS SECOND 
.'EAT RUN OVER " THAT LINE" TO THE WHITE HOUSE. THE ABSENCE OK THH 
I'.'VENTIONAL-BULL PUP WILL HE NOTICED, AS THE ARTIST WHO DREW THIS POR- 
AIT rS A WHITE MAN, AND DON'T CARE A SNAl' WHO LS ELECTED. 



SKINEM SOLLOCK'S ORATION 
GREELEY. 



ON 



Fellow-citizens, Democrats, and Lib- 
eral Bummers : — 

From the lofty heights of Borax to the 
valleys of Ballyhoo — where the gentle alli- 
gator simmers in the splendor of the noon- 
day sun and softly woos the pulsating frog 
and the mellifluous mosquito with the mur- 
murous sweetness of his tongue — the name 
of Greeley awakes the long-slumberine 



echoes of freedom. The sound of them 
echoes, fellow-citizens, like the strings of 
an old banjo, will vibrate and swell the 
chorus of "Anything to Beat Grant," when 
caught up again, as surely they will be, b,> 
the glorious rag-tag and bob-tail of the 
Democracy. 

Where was Grant when General Greeley 
drew his pen and rushed in amid the din 
and roar of conflict, shouting the •• Battle- 
cry of Freedom *' and things ? Where was 
he ? He was a-sittin' playing cut-throat 




™AT B 0OK, COAT, HAT, AXD UMBRELLA— BIT ESPECIALLY ''THAT COAT." IT 
KATS THE COAT OF JOSEPH BY SEVERAL COLOUS, AND IS SO BUILT THAT IT MAY BR 
TCIiXEP AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE. 




GRANNY GsE'ELEY, A> SHE APPEARED WITH HER DOLLY VaHDEN ON, COQUETTING 
WITH A RESPECTABLE OLD PARTY BY THE NAME OF DEMOCRACY, IN THE HOPE THAT 
HE WOULD TAKE TO HER FOB BETTER OR WORSE. On ACCOUNT OF HER FINE FIGURE, 
IT IS SUPPOSED, THE COURTSHIP BROUGHT ABOUT A MATCH, AND THE ANCIENT COUPLE 
ARE NOW GOINfi \i: HT THE COUNTRY ON THEIR HONEYMOON TOUR. 



euchre — penny -a-corner — and feeding his 
bull-purps on cord-wood and tanner's mo- 
lasses. Yes, fellow-citizens; anil there he 
sot and sot, anil smoked like a tenement- 
house chimney. 

Where was Ulisticus Grand and his Cold 
tacts when, shoulder to shoulder, Greeley 
shied his castor into the Tammany Ring, 
and, with one fierce swing of Ids hoots, 
slung 'cm all out of time .' Why, (Jlisticns 
was swallowing Kentuek calamity by the 
tjiiait, and doin' liis own washing! 



We are here, feller-citizens, to have a rat- 
itication meeting. I'll take my ratification 
straight — no sugar in mine. Horace 
Brown and Gratz Greeley arc the roosters 
to do our Crowing. When they flap their 
wings, Grant Shanghais get up and git! 
Anything to beat somebody. Wam-wam 
in Chappaqua ; roar, roar, tor the old axe- 
heaver is coming! On, Sumner, ou ! Ad- 
vance the standard of free trade, tree love, 
free drinks, free votes, free lunch, free di- 
vorce, and fre ■ shirts. 



Fellow-citizens, if yon elect Grant, he'll 
plant the iron heel of a double-breasted tyr- 
anny upon your manly breasts, and hurl you 
into the curriculum where his brindle purps 
gnash their San Domingo teeth forever and 
ever. What does he iare for the great 
American eagle, or any other menagerie? 
Take Greeley— see him wrap himself up in 
the majestic folds of the constitution, put 
on his socks, and come the double-shuffle on 
two platforms without missing a step. You 
dout catch him wasting his time loafing 



about wateriu' places, eating saud-pais r and 
tramplin' on the rights and corns of fche 
descendants of our forefathers and the res* 
of our relations. 

Fellow-citizens, elect old Horace — pot 
him up, and put him in ; then will the loud 
cry of liberty be heard by millions yet an 
born, with more to come ! 

Who cares for the Alabama clams i 
We'll shove 'em down the red flannel 
throat of John Bull till his stomach ia 
turned into a chowder-bag. In the la* - 





"The Latkr Franklin" as he appeared, three tears ago, when flying 

HIS KITE FOR STATE COMPTROLLER. He HAS NEVER VET WRITTEN " WHAT i IvNOVT 

a butt Kiting." 




SUMNEB THE ©BEAT (BLOWER). HI. HO*,DS FORTH ON THE NEGRO. HIS WHOLE 
LSCOURSE is negro; BUT ODE COLORED BROTHERS don't SEEM TO SEE THINGS IN 
THE SAME LIGHT AS he DOES. PERHAPS HE OVERDOSES HIS LISTENERS. 




..« .n,,T THIS IS THE MEPMSTOPHILES OF THE WHOLE 
CHARLES DANA AND HIS IDOL. — IHIN »""■ H]g pEN HAS BEEN 

EVOLUTION. HE DIDN'T GET ™* "f^J£Sfe5* 

AGAINST HIM EVEE SINCE. HE IS A JOLLY DEVIL, ALTI Q BEAT GRA NT. 

HE THROWS AT GRANT OFTEN APPEAR UPON HIS OAN N FACE. 







HENRY WILSON. THIS IS THE HONEST SHOEMAKER AND CONSCIENTIOUS COBBLER 

OF ALL BAD JOBS. HIS PROFESSION, IN CONNECTION WITH THAT OF A TANNER, IS 
SUPPOSED TO CARRY OCT THE OLD SAYING, " THERE IS NOTHING LIKE LEATHER." 
HENRY IS DETERMINED TO FIGHT UNTIL THE HITTER (WAXEI)) END, THE QUESTION 
BEING, "WHICH LOVES THE DARKEY MOST, "WILSON OR SUMNER. 1 ' PROBABLY HENRY 
COl'LP DO MORE FOR THEIR SOLES. 



10 



guage of Ward Beecher, when he turned 
his first flip-flap in his green and salad cir- 
cus days, " Heads I win, tails I fall — and 
Satan take the hindmost You can't skin 
an eel by greasing his eyebrows." Take 
off your coats ; hang 'em up where they'll 
be safe, and wade in for the old wood- 
chucker. 

Feller-citizens, lefs all go and set up 
with a sick man till the bottle's empty. 
Now, then, three cheers for— three cheers 
for — 



At this instant the softened remains of a 
defunct feline came in sudden and violent 
contact with the intellectual features of the 
speaker, and brought his tremendous eftbrtw 
to an ignominious close. 



It is said that Greeley hasn't backbone 
enough for President. We suggest that 
they blow the marrow out of his spinal 
column and run a lightning- rod down it, so 
the old man can have something to " brace 
up" on. 




Thk fouiNDLing— Civil Rights Bill. Mbs. Sumnek asks Henry Wilson t» 

SHAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY. " It IS AS MUCH YOUR CHILD AS IT IS MINE, HbMEY. 

Horace refuses to be even a stkp-father to it. Don't forsake me, Henry ! 



11 




Here are a few prominent politicians. The first picture represents tii km 
in the palmy days of the Tammany King. They could then pitch pennies 
and enjoy themselves in various ways. but the last pictures them -a hen 
the days of sorrow were upon them ; when drinks were hard to be got, 
and the " slate " showed many a noble name. " t is rough," but, according 
to the accepted rule, it is fair. •» 



12 




THIS IS BENNY BUTLER. HE IS PARTAKING OK HIS PAP. PERHAPS VOL' MAT 
THINK HE LOOKS TOO MUCH LIKE A MULE, OR SOMETHING OK THAT KIND ; BUT THOSE 
EARS ARE ONLY THE ENDS OF HIS NAPKIN. BEN IS ONE OF THE NICEST MEN THAT EVER 
LIVED, BUT HIS LOOKS ARE SOMEWHAT AGAINST HIM. HE IS GRANT'S RIGHT-HAND 
MAN, AND CAN STIR UP A BREEZE QUICKER THAN ANY ONE WHO EVER TOOK THE STUMP. 
IF HE LIVES LONG ENOUGH HE'LL BE GOVERNOR OF MASSACHUSETTS. 



13 

Banks turned a political "flip-flap." Onk of our comic papers calls Greeley a 
What was that a sign off That he was he school-marm. 'Tis said the real school- 
done on one side, don't it ! manns are awful mad about it. 




This shows what political enthusiasm, assisted by champagne, w;ll do. 
The old gentleman who has mounted the table has hitherto been known Us 
one of the most quiet old deacons in the world ; bit one ob two bottles 
warm him up to such a pitch that he gets upon the table and makes a speech 
for Greeley and Brown. Query : Does that speak well for the liquor, ok 
bad for the deacon ! 




^V^fctfcT^ 



HARK, FROM THE TOMBS! 

Old Politician. — Now, Billy, you and I have barely escaped a home in th» 
place; in fact, here is the hole that was dug foe you, and heee are the 

CRAVES OF YOUR POLITICAL FRIENDS. TlIERE IS ONE WAY TO ESCAPE— ONE WAY f 
KEEP OUT OF THIS HOLE. 

B-ifly. — Well, how is it ? 

0. P. — Come out boldly for the " reform " party. It will astonish yoor 

HES SO MUCH THAT THEY WILL DROP YOU. T'v GOING TO JOIN 'EM. 



I.") 



The Agriculturist says : " The hiter cab- 
bage has a small heart. The head is large, 
aud, at its ripest, very soft and irregular," 
etc., which is a very unkind cat at the 



author of " What I Know about Farming," 
Whoever says it is a description of the 
later Franklin, is — what d'ye call it ; a 
what's his name and a thingamy, by Cripel 




This is the virtuous Governor who would gladly have left his islan» 

ROCK AND GONE TO WASHINGTON; BUT THE POLITICAL WATERS WERE TOO DARK AM» 
ANGRY, AND HE DARED NOT VENTURE FORTH. AND THERE HE SITS, AND THERE HH 
WILL PROBABLY CONTINUE TO SIT UNTIL THE WATERS SUBSIDE AND HE IS UNSEATED. 



16 




17 




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20 



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HOEACE "HOLD3 FORTH TO AN "IMMENSE CROWD OK ADMIRERS. 

HOI.WCK. HAS BEEN NOMINATED, YOU KNOV 



THIS rS Al'TKV 




ONE OK THE STEONG-MINDED FEMALES, 
SHWING AXU ARRANGING HER TOILET, PRE- 
PARATORY TO ATTENDING A POLITICAL 
MEETING WHERE SHE IS EXPECTED TO 
"SHINE." 



CARRY THE NEWS TO GREELEY. 

I. 
Oh. have you hoard the latest news 

That's trembling on the air 1 
A verdict's rendered from the South — 

"lis shouted everywhere. 
Old North Carolina leads the van, 

Has spoken out quite freely ; 
Then get up, wake up, let 'er rip, 
And carry the neivs to Greeley. 
II. 
Go tell him Schurz has got a pain, 
That Sumner's griped with colic, 
And that the Grant men all around 

Are having a great frolic ; 
Gratz Brown is packing up his trunk, 

And Dana feels quite mealy ; 
Then get up, wake up, let 'ei rip, 
And carry the news to Greeley. 
III. 
They say the General loves a horse — 

We'll give him now a team ; 
He'll drive his two " terms" right along. 

Like lightning hitched to steam. 
The old Tar State has gone true blue; 

It's true, they say 'tis really ; 
She's pitched the " Liberals'' overboard— 
Go curry the news to Greeley. 



21 



What he knows about gua* ting.— 
The splice between Horace Greeley and the 
Democratic party appears to be very much 
like a job of grafting, but which is the graft 
and which is the tree that seeks the im- 
provement it woidd be hard to determine. 
The 5th of November will show whether 
this marriage is productive of fruit or not, 
or whether it won't be sour apples after 
all. "What 1 Know About Grafting" will 
probably be his next book. 



The New York World and the Tribune 
shake hands across the North Carolina vie 
torv. A rebel victory always did make the 
World rejoice, but it used to have a con- 
trary effect upon the Tribune. But, "any- 
thing to beat Grant." 

A.N old farmer, when asked what lie 
thought of the Greeley matter, replied : " I 
think it is like a young robbin, biggest 
when first hatched." 



-HEELtu I 




THIS IS UNCLE SAM, THE COBBLER. A LIBERAL COMES INTO "l* SHOP WITH rHE 
OLD BOOT " DEMOCRACY," WISHING TO GET IT REPAIRED. SAYS UNCLE SAM I— 

"GIT OUT! THERE'S NO USE TRYING TO FIX UP THAT OLD AFFAIR j U 'S L'ASl W.I 
REPAIR. SALTBETRK AMD ELECTRICITY WON'T BRING IT TO LIFE AGAIN. 







Anothkr of the stroxg-mixded. li Tell me, dearest Chabl.es, will you no* 
v-we for Greeley? He is a nice old man, and vert mfch of a woman. Tbul 
mb, darling, that yoi' will vote for him." 



The New York Tribune is getting to be a 
eapital Democratic paper. It has advanced 
so far that it can refer to " Ben Butler 
stealing spoons," thus appropriating the 
»egro minstrels' and Brick Pomeroy's thun- 
der. As Pomeroy refuses to support 
Greeley, we suppose the Tribune is trying 
to win over Briek"s subscribers. 

Why is Horace Greeley like bran? Be- 
etiBse he is the result of the bolt. This may 
be a trifle mealy, but it's good. 



Horace Greeley says he has always 
been a Democrat. We guess that's so, for 
had it been otherwise the party could never 
have kept him on its stomach no long as it 
already has. 

A uamuler said the other da] : "Judging 
from the hands they hold, I think Greeley 
is going to win this Presidential game.' 1 
Judging by the hands the two candidates 
lorite, we think Grant, the best fitted for 
the office. 



'_':: 



The New York Herald calls the toting of 
Greeley around among the countrymen a 
great mora] wax-figure show. Something 
.similar, we should say, to the one that 
Artemus Ward used to exhibit. 

August Belmont don't care much for 
Horace Greeley. All he wants is the 
hundred and seventy-five millions of gold 
that BoutweU has got hoarded up as the 
yellow nest-egg of our magnificent credit. 



In ease Greeley is elected ami goes bo 

Washington, it is doubtful if he will be inl« 
to get a- Bout-well. 

Tin: Liberals Baj they are lighting the 
old battle over again. That's what we shall 
all have to do ifthej are successful 

ILoiiACK is actually trying to make ,i ne.i-o 
of himself. •• Doff the lion's felt and i 'tit; 
a calf's skin on *hy recreant limbs." 




LTTICaL MEETINGS— THE EFFECT THEY HAVE ON PEOPLK 

HriHon. — Hello, Jones, where have you keen! 

Jones. — Hici what? <>h, been ter peelitical meetin'. Fac' is, Rkown, ■* 

PARTY'S HOIIX' TER WIN. (THAT si. I'll. Ks IT.) 



Vic Woodhull is in a bad fix. She is 

©ne of the Presidential candidates, and yet 
the poorest of them all : she can't even vote 
lor herself. George Francis Train or Daniel 
Pratt can heat her one vote at least. 

Susan B. Anthony has stripped for the 
tight. We should think that would produc e 
;i peal of' laughter. 



They have a Buchanan Club in Pennsyl- 
vania. Probably it is composed of some of 
those old Short-honied fellows who still vote 
for u Johnny Bu.*' 

The women are going back on Horace the 
worst way. Serves him right ; he went 
back on them. If they could only vote, 
how they would rise the old man. 




THAT MAKES IT RIGHT. 

Unci.— Why, Chaelie, you are drunk! Where have tou been, sir! 

Charlie. — Oh, I've been to a political meeting. 

Uncle. — What kind of a political meeting, sir, that you should comb 

KKOM IT IN SUCH A BEASTLY STATE OF INTOXICATION ? 

niarlic. — Why, to a Greeley meeting to be sure. 
Uncle. — Oh, well, that's all right, then. 



When a man is very hungry he will 
swallow almost anything without stopping 
^o ask whether it is lish, flesh,) or good 
smoked herring. That must be the case 
with the Democrats when they bolt down 
Horace without oil or vinegar. It isn't 
u anything to beat Giant" so much as it is 
"anything to beat back into port again" 
with them. Well, as a party, it always did 
have a strong stomach. 



It is now believed that the reason Greeley 
didn't offeml the Democracy when he called 
them horse-thieves, blacklegs, pugilists, 
etc., is because he told the truth — at least 
the Democratic papers now supporting him 
say he is "a truthful man.' 1 

••A shkntlkman dot is very elastic mil 
his prams," is the way a brother Teuton 
desi ribes Schurz. 



Ffflirii:;; 1 . 1 !! ^-:\ :\; ';:::],■' 




Johnson. — Well, how is this, Bobstay! 

Bobsiay. — I tells yer how it is, Johnson. 1 was oh the committee of REFRESH- 
MENTS, AND THERE Wasn't MANY COME. So I JUS' WENT FOB TER SAVE THAT LICKEF 
FROM BEING SPOILED THAT'S What's THE MATTER WITH OUR HaNNAH. CaKRY THE 

news to Hiram ! 



ue 




A WEE FEMALE POLITICIAN. 
Little Famty. — Now, Papa, if you'll only vote for Greeley, Pi,l :ote for 

YOUR CANDIDATE WHEN I GET BIG ENOUGH. HORACE KISSES BABIES, AND I LIKE HIM 
FOB IT. 



H. G., the other day, was curiously ex- 
amining two fine pictures, which hung side- 
by side on the wall of the reception-room 
of a Portland hotel. 

u Whose portraits are those f " squeaked 
tfie philosopher, addressing one of his 
keepeis. 

u Them — them — really, your excellency, 
I don't know. We must have yours beside 
that larger one — I think it's Webster." 

" Yes, yes, if yon wish ; but find out 
whose the other one is." 



Committeeman rushed about; returned 
with a large framed lithograph of the phil- 
osopher, and hung it up beside the 
Webster. 

Presently a Grantite came along. 

"There, isn't that appropriate? Web- 
ster in the centre, Mr. Greeley on the right, 
and who — who is the other one ? " 

" Benedict Arnold," said the Grantite. 
The. committeeman suddenly remembered 
the story of Mount Calvary, and close*! 
np. 



BORGIA mau ha,s invented a little 
machine, which, by the simple turn of a 
crank, can bemadeto multiply, divide, add, 
and subtract the square rook It multi- 
plied correctly 9876 by 3456 in two minutes. 
Be wants to sell it to the leaders of the 
Dem.-Liberal party to add up their majori- 
ties; but they refuse to buy. believing that 
hc\ would not have an opportunity to turn 
the crank once in two decades: and as for 
subtracting and dividing, they .say, if thej 



■ i 4.1 into office (hey will show bo\r 
deftly that can be done without a maohiixv 

And we believe them ! 

Grant, the gift-taker, says the reaseu 
the Sorehead Etepubs have deserted him is 
that he refused the only two presents they 
had to offer him — Greeley and Schurz. Ih» 
couldn't accept such useless lumber aad 
besides, he had already a sufficiency •{ 
banking stock on hand. 




STRONG-MINDED AND DESPERATE! 

wiignant " Liberal" Wife.— How dare ror, sin. to wave your handkebchibj 

Greeley procession* If 1 ever catch you at such a thing again, I will 



In 
TO a 
POLL EVERY HAIR OUT OF YOUR SENSELESS HEAD. 



28 




ANOTHER STRONG-MINDED ONE. 

Wife. NOW, SIR, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN UNTIL THIS LATE HOUR i 

Husband. — Why, my dear, I — I — don't be axory, I have been to a political 

MEETING. 

Wife. — What kind of a political meeting, sir ? 

Husband. — To a Woodhull and Douglass meeting. 

Wife. — It is lucky that you have been in good company; fob if I ever 
catch you going to any of those vile Grant or Greeley meetings, I will pill 
your nose out of joint, and keep you on bread and water for a month. 



A "Leber ax" organ facetiously asks: 
" Will Grant withdraw ? The heavens 
above him are so dark and beclouded, that 
not a ray of light illumines them." The 
heavens are bright and cloudless compared 



to what they were when Grant was fight- 
ing the Democratic party in " The Wilder- 
ness" — and he didn't think of withdrawing 
then. You know Greeley says "he has 
never been beaten, and never will be .'" 



29 




GOING FOE GREELEY. 

a W,- „>< ufvn SENT BY THE GREELEY COMMITTEE 

This is Mr. Absalom S «™°\*** A **™\Z™ only on,, .nhabitant in- 
to SHAKE UP THE DRY BONES OK RuFFUNHAM. 1 ,M ";' „ AOAISOT 
THE TOWN, HE PROCEEDS TO REPEAT HIS SPEECH To HIM A , «■ - • «* ■ 
VOTING FOR GRANT, THK military DESPOT, but TO vote for 

HE CAN. „ 

Boy.SAV, WHAT KINO OF BAIT DOES HE FISH WID ! 



30 



Bbn. Butler says the cause of his op 
1 1 'Sing Greeley's election is that it won't do 
i i have two natural curiosities in Wash- 
ii gton at the same time. It's as much as 
the government can stand now to have 
Ben there. He isn't going to revive the 
old scandal by robbing the editorial frater- 
nity of New York of the biggest Spoon in 
it. Not much. 



A nbw Swedish paper, just starfcpd in 
Minnesota, distinctly says: "Vidare sager 
han pa tal ran Grant- Wilson ska nomina 
tion. Sadanna ord gora sqatlanga artiklar 
ofverflodigal." Just as we expected ! This 
is a complete refutation of the charges of 
nepotism and things brought against Grant 
by his enemies, who deserve to be called 
" ofverflodigal8 " and other hard names. 




THE DIFFERENCE 
Grant Ebony. — Go 'way, common nigger, I belongs ro de quality. Puoh ! 

YOU SMELLS. 

Greeley Ebony. — Well, don't you smell! Wouldn't gib much foe you if 
yer couldn't. Go 'long ; MONEY makes de mak go. but HONESTY GOES FOE HORACE. 
Want any whitewash ino done tor your pArty? 



31 




BLOODY DANGER OF THE COUNTRY. 
Mrs. Rafferty. — Bad luck ter that bloody hathkn, he's spilin my business 

WID HIS DAM CHAPE CRAME. 

Mr. Fogerty. — Mrs. Rafferty, that bloody Chinaman's a Grant man. We 

MUST PUT THEM DOWN, OR THE COUNTRY WILL GO TO THER DIVIL WID THIS BLOODY 
CHjfPE LABOR. Be SURE AN VOTE FOR GREELEY, AN Iff THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY 
ONCE GETS IN POWER, MRS. RAFFERTY, WE'LL HAVE GOOD TIMES, AN NO 'BLOODY 
IIATHENS SHALL INTERFERE WID YER BUSINESS. 



Tbk N. Y. Sun is talking about Grant 
"■ bowing the knee to Baal." 

It is the first intimation we have had 
that Grant ever had aHV idea of worship- 
ping Dana. ■ 



Gbm. McClellan goes for Greeley. It 
he goes for him in the same manner he 
went for the rebels, it isn't likely lie will 
ever get within sight of tbe chopper-quack 
of Ohappaqua. 



X 




To the Reader, — In order to get at the point of the jojke embodied in 

THIS II, LUSTRATION, i,h MUST READ TIIH CONTENTS OK THIS HOOK. A PRIZE PACKAGE 
18 AWARDED TO THOSE WHO SEE THE POINT AND DEMONSTRATE IT TO THE P.ETAILER 
OF THIS PUBLICATION. It IS WORTH GOINO FOB. Re WISB IN TIME. THE DIAMOND 

fields of Arizona are nothino when compared to what is ix store in this 
particular instance 



